Wednesday, 21 August 2013

How Art The Mighty Fallen; THE OTHER WOMAN

 DISCLAIMER: This may be based on very true events or strictly for entertainment but it is not an attempt to sound deep. Enjoy!

I met Nina in the summer of 2008 and we have stayed close ever since then, for some unknown reason I had always been drawn to her and I couldn’t help but not want her in my life. Every effort I made to ensure that happened, failed at every turn. Nina wasn’t going to make it easy for me and I intended on not giving up, until she finally said yes, I had worked my way into her life by every means possible. Suffice to say at this point, Nina became my everything. She was the choice between being happy and happiness itself.

The other woman is the lowest state in your relationship status, worse than been friend zoned. The other woman can be a side chick that has been demoted or a main chick that lost her throne. The other woman is the girl you keep around in your life long enough till she eventually walks away on her own, even then she is never missed. The other woman is the girl that gets the last 5mins left from your airtime, whilst she has been home waiting for you call all day. The other woman is the girl you run your contact check on sometimes just to be sure you still either have her or to make sure she deleted herself. The other woman is the girl that only gets presents 3 days in a year, namely: her birthday, the day you assumed was her birthday and a makeup gift for forgetting her birthday. The other woman is the girl that sends “I love you” in a message (bbm, whatsapp, sms) and you reply by calling her. The other woman is the girl that gets no love so she manages whatever she gets; the slightest attention on her has made her day. The other woman makes no public appearance. She assumes she is with you and your folks know about her but to them she is just the other chick you know. The other woman is the girl that is the last resort in getting laid when your hands fail or your cock is not really attracted to your hands anymore, hand injury, no lube, poor internet connection to stream low quality porn. The other woman is the girl that never gets her picture (although she is beautiful enough to qualify) used as your dp on your bbm profile, whatsapp profile or twitter avatar but she has to bear the pain of watching different girls pictures been used. The other woman's picture is only used in a delicate form, on her birthday and it never stays up for more than 24hours. The other woman is the girl you refer to as “your angel, your darling, your best friend, your boo: which can also be the short form of olebooruku, your confidante, your GF: which can mean good friend, goofy friend, genuine friend” when faced with the problem of accepting her in public to the knowledge of everyone present, she is never referred to as your girlfriend in full. The other woman is the girl you feed the illusion of a better tomorrow whilst her present is still shitty and it’s your entire fault. The other woman is the girl that never gets spoiled, you spend it all on the main and side chick, the other chick gets what’s left over, the change.

Nina had my heart and my love, she was my strength, she made everything seem so easy and effortless, and I wanted to have that for as long as I could. But just like every beginning has an end, our love story became an old version of itself, a perfect picture been tainted. Few months of dating Nina and telling the world about her, we started having issues. Nina was reserved and quiet, a fact I didn’t mind whilst chasing her but now it bothered me so much. We never really had conversations. I would talk and she would listen. She hardly shared with me or expressed how she felt for me. Was I ever in doubt of her love? No, but sometimes after ranting on how madly I was in love with her, I just needed something to feed on, a little feedback to reassure me that I wasn’t the only person crazy, crazy in love. I wrote beautiful love poems and notes about her and sent them to her, and sometimes I would beg for just a line as a reply but Nina wouldn’t budge. Slowly I found myself withdrawing from her, I was hurting inside, and I needed to become someone else. I needed her to be someone else.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. Even with my sudden change in attitude, Nina didn’t even notice. I found myself converting a love story we built together into something less important and I didn’t want it to stop. Emotionally I had cheated on Nina so many times more than I could count because I wish she was someone else. Eventually, I got my wish. Nina became a version of what I had imagined, I saw her in a different way and regardless of how much I assumed I was in love with her, the new part of her I created was way better. I didn’t have to express myself anymore to her, she was the same girl I was proud to show to the world and the same girl I was quick to hide the world from her. Days were I would call her for hours sharing bare jokes and then moments later; I would call for few minutes just as a routine to check in on her. Indeed she had become two different people. The one I was crazy about and the one I created to cure my craze.
A man can only feed off from whatever he is given as a meal.
The new part of Nina was my perfect emotional meal. I found myself drawn to her and yet withdrawn as well. I bought gifts for her and then I returned it. It was a constant battle in my head.
I struggled with referring to her as my girlfriend so I called her my bestie, sometimes my angel and deep down I knew what that meant but I couldn’t help the feeling of not attaching any concrete title to her. She was my girlfriend at heart but in reality she became the other chick in my life.
I got so comfortable with the feeling that I could go on days without hearing from her and be fine, I love you became a routine, the best way to end a phone call. A part of me was dead to the fact that at some point she was the girl I wanted to be with, and all I hoped for her to be was the other chick in my life.
Finally when she became more expressive and decided to share more, it was already too late to fix us. I made my main chick the other woman in my life and I had to live with it.  

Are you the other woman???


  1. I'm soo gobsmacked!!! In my case He's the other guy in my life! How ironic? Wow this life is soo funny! #story of my present relationship status!

  2. Very inspirational,a call back for us ladies to understand and know what's our man wants and keep him glowing and wanting....

  3. Awwww omg!It happens everyday!When u pay less attention,then they get around like bees!

  4. A reenacted picture of how easily true love can turn sour. A frequently occurring experience in most love cycles.
    I think the other woman is a natural solace for men with unhappy relationships. I hope we develop the courage to confront our partners when all seems bleak. I hope we develop the patience to sit down and address our issues. If all of these efforts fail, I hope we develop the courage to always call it quits. Only then can "the other woman" or "other man"( Trust me, women do have the "other man" too) occurrence be stopped.

  5. Oh my! I really can't say........

  6. *SMILLING* Yea.....we actually mk pple we date or are dating " the other woman or man" even wen dey dnt desire to be; I mean! No one wants 2 be. But sincerly, u fall sooooo crazy in love wit some1 despite their behaviour or character...along the way u expect dem 2 change? No niga! No niglet! Dey are who dey are!!!we r all diff we cnt expect pple 2 be like us its not fun dat way,every1 has their personalities and no one is perfect. We shuld consider wat we love abt a particular person and d ones u dnt like, u talk abt it nd if its smtin dat can be solved fine if nt move on.No need or mkin sm1 "d oda woman or man" Not Nice @ all, of wat use is it? Waste of time and leftovers.i .

  7. Great piece! Let's all hope we're not the other woman or man. We so easily morph into such without even realizing it. Blame it on the love bug.

  8. Its very unfortunate but realities of live.young ladies be careful,young men be sensesible enough 2 know what u want,stick 2 it and maintain it.what goes around,comes around!

  9. I have read dis piece all over and can't shake the feeling that I am such a person in such situations. Believe it is easier to say it's not our story than to accept n try to change the situation with the ones we care about.i have tried to speak my mind but he won't. The solution we know n it's very simple...WORDS! speak it even if it breaks a heart,the truth truly sets free....always T.

  10. It's heartbreaking to know your the other girl especially when it's not your fault. I guess it wasn't meant to be?

  11. From the other woman's point. Why were we together in the first place? What does having a relationship mean? Doesn't it have to do with patience,acceptance, not abandoning, always proving your love, constant renewal and working on it