Tuesday, 21 February 2017
Staring at your face and getting consumed by the joyful ambience your presence brings, the peace I feel when I am with you is unmatched.
I always assumed no feeling could be greater but the way my heart expresses itself through precise beats and perfect tempos, creating amazing rhythms is birthed out of pure excitement. You make my heart sing.
You have an inexplicable hold on me, perfect getaway, and fantasy in human flesh, my sweetest escape. When I am with you, it feels like beholding all the beauty in heaven.
You help me fight the darkness within me; you support me and then provoke me to be my best. You are the answer to my prayers for a blessing, a gift from God.
I am left completely speechless every time I hear you call out my name, I get lost in your words, I give out my soul to merge with yours but this incredible feeling is a taboo.
Every time I try to walk away, you bring me back with the reassurance that our love is ordained by heaven and we are earthly angels with only one purpose; to stay together against all odds.
I found myself lying to the woman who I assumed loved me more than I could imagine but even good women have their flaws… her flaw was convincing her heart to love me even when she knew I wasn’t her first and best choice.
The love story we built had a shaky foundation, we lied to ourselves about the happiness we only conceived in our hearts and never felt with each other.
She was supposed to be my wife but her life was never part of mine, the doubts fuelled my insecurities. She agreed to be my wife but her life was meticulously planned out which never included me. I was the relief to her pain from the past; I was her safe haven and refuge. We were broken and found healing with each other. She was part of my story but never the main character. I was one of her lovers but never her only love.
We made a mistake.
I was so sure of whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and then I met you and everything else changed.
Staring at my wedding vows with tears freely flowing from my eyes, this can’t be happening. I never knew what happiness felt like until I met someone else and she completely crushed everything I once held to heart. She ruined my imagined love story. I allowed her break the bond I once shared with the person I assumed had my love. I freely gave her my heart. I stopped fighting for the person I once believed in. She became my bad habit, the drug I am addicted to. I am breaking the heart that I promised to cherish for her love that I attached to. I can’t go through with this. I made a mistake!