THE LETTER: PART 2

My heaven on earth, my heart beat, my glow stick in the dark. A radiating light that gives illumination to my world. The earth beneath my feet, the sky above my head, the air I breathe. I get lost in my imaginations of you. I know I can’t have you so I close my eyes and picture a life for us, where you come alive, where your love saves me, where I keep you happy.

Even if it’s only for a moment my thoughts become illusions, somehow it is more than enough. The joy of not having to embrace reality where being with you seems remotely impossible, the realization that all I have is a picture of you in my head. White picket fence, a dog named max, front porch and a family car parked on the drive way.

And if I can have all of that with my eyes closed, I never want to open them

And I lust after the sweet melody in your voice as you call out my name, your ever calming voice

Call me desperate, but I don’t see how I can go on living my life like I never met you.

I don’t understand how I am supposed to just ignore the fact that right now, in my life, you mean the world to me.

I fall deeper, I fall deeply, I fall hopelessly in love with you.

The sun and moon bear me witness, the love in my heart, the feelings I keep buried inside, the inexplicable way you affect me.

To steal a moment with you, to share my happiness and joy, to have you in my life for always, nothing else matters.

I keep fighting distance and time, a lost battle but the war is still worth the fight. I hold on to every memory I have of you, your voice, your laugh, the way you smile at me. Time and distance have been unfair to our love. I still hold on.

And sometimes, I hear how you call out my name like you can feel me next to you, so close yet so far. I miss you

The pain of having to go on daily without you here with me is so surreal. Words alone can’t do justice to how you feel; How can I love you this much and be so far away?

Crazy in love is putting it lightly, you make my love for you drive me insane, and it is so pure, so divine. Heaven’s greatest gift to man, heaven’s rare treasure, heaven’s missing angel in human flesh. Even if I cut out my heart and place it in the palm of your hands; a sacrifice not befitting the purest form of love you possess. Every day is a blessing and every hour not spent with you is a curse, a dead man’s curse: to walk amongst the living and die a little inside every passing second. A corpse with a heart, an aging soul. Boulevard of broken dreams: to see you and not see you.

Love hurts in the most damaging way but that’s the beauty of it. The days where I miss you so bad, I can feel my heart break into pieces, the times where even after talking to you I still want more. Who says a man is not supposed to cry? The tears that flows down my cheeks sometimes remind me of how grateful I am to have you, how lucky I am to have found you.

So much noise and all I can hear is the sound of your voice in the midst of the crowd, like your hearts calling out for me. Like a calming sound from a lullaby.

By nature, every man is selfish but I am only content with you. I don’t need anyone else, painfully I realize with each moment spent away from you; no one can come close to the standard you set. Why do I need to settle for less, when I already have the best?

I hold on to everything dear, everything true, and everything pure. I hold on to you.

I pray to have you in my life for as long as the earth has the sun, the night has the moon and stars. I pray to be there for you as you have been there for me.

And if you are reading this, I just want you to know that I love you now, and I would hold on to that.