THE END

Not every relationship would last; even true love forsakes us sometimes.

It is my engagement dinner, I am standing outside the hall, too scared to walk in, not because I am afraid of getting married but I fear the moment I hold the most to my heart isn’t enough to last me a lifetime.

While lost in my thought, Ana takes my hand; I turn to her, seeing her smile at me took my breath away. I was getting married to the most beautiful girl on this planet. She was my light, my world, my oxygen, my best friend. How did I get this lucky?

I have known Ana for a year, and it felt like she had always been with me my whole life. From the moment I realized I was in love with her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And as crazy as my desires were, they seemed possible. I still remember the low point I was at in my life when Ana found me and saved me. I was hooked on drugs, a functioning alcoholic, a chronic skirt chaser, my life had no purpose, and then Ana came in and changed everything. How did I ever get this lucky?

Ana was like the sun to my earth, she brightened my world, ever soft spoken, she loved God so much it made me want to get closer to the divine creator. Ana was too good to be human, Ana was my safe haven.

Ana was my life, I was lost without her, I starred into her eyes before walking into the hall, in my heart I knew she was my forever and always. Tears flowed freely from my eyes, I was marrying the only woman my heart has ever loved, she was my life force.

She held my hand tighter, smiled at me again and said, “You have me, always, forever, never forget that”

Those words pierced through my soul, more tears came out without control, Ana was my life. I squeezed her hands, my feet refused to move. I kissed her so deep she started crying.

8 months into my relationship with Ana, I discovered she was terminally ill, hence why she gave me so much tough time in the beginning; she was protecting me from getting hurt. She didn’t want to love me; she didn’t want me to fall in love with her because she wasn’t going to live long enough to be with me. From the time I found out about her illness, it only made me want to be with her more, I never pictured myself with anyone else. My parents didn’t have a say, Ana had become my only source of happiness. The few times I went to the hospital with her, the chemotherapy and radiation was too painful to comprehend. I watched her in so much pain, I felt helpless. And just when we thought everything was going to be all right, the doctor called our attention that the cancer had spread to other parts of her body, her organs were slowly shutting down. My baby, my future, my love had 3weeks to live.

Time was against our love, time was against us, and I felt the hot tears flowing from Ana’s eyes on my cheeks. 3 weeks had elapsed and family members were gathered in a hall to witness her last moment on earth.

Ana broke free from my lips, looked at me and smiled at me. I didn’t understand how someone who was in so much pain could possibly smile. She had become the strongest woman I knew at that point. While holding her hands with tears in my eyes “Ana I cant live without you, I don’t think I can survive without your love saving me, you have been the only life I know, you are my fortress, please don’t leave me, stay with me a little longer..” Ana kisses the tears from my cheeks and says “I can’t leave you, I wont leave you, even when my heart stops beating and I lose my breath, I still love you more than you imagine. I prayed for strength and God sent you to me, you have been my peace in the midst of this storm and I am glad my final moments are with you, to me, we spent always and forever… and when I finally go, promise me you would find someone else to love, show her the better man that you have become, my always and forever” my eyes still shut tight, I hug Ana so close, I didn’t want to let her go, family members wondering what was taking us so long to walk into the hall come outside to meet us, and they all watched as I held Ana so close to me. And suddenly her warm body became cold, Ana had finally left me. I called out her name like she could hear me “Ana please stay with me, fight this battle with me, don’t go” my heart couldn’t contain itself; I felt it shatter into pieces. My love was gone.

Not every relationship would last; even true love forsakes us sometimes.