Sunday, 14 October 2012


The year was 2010, school work had completely taken over my social life. No friends just colleagues and suffice to say, living a boring life had become more acceptable. It was like the only choice, infact it was my only choice. Acceptance!! Wake up, live a boring life through out the day, hit the sheets at night as a boring guy, have boring dreams and start the boring day afresh again, the next day. 
During a late night session in the school library, a colleague and dear friend suggested we take a road trip to "Reading". Road trip? What happened to trains? It is just half an hour via train, so!!!! Somehow he confused me and then convinced me about the road trip and I was game. It was supposed to be roughly an hour by road but we eventually spent 4hours. We left London late, during rush hour. He was driving, he had his girlfriend at the passenger seat in front and me, I was at the back. 3 is a crowd like they always say but obviously when it comes to mad raves, the more the merrier. We were hitting Reading to party like rockstars. And yes, as a boring guy, I had no date. We somehow believe "there shall be a single girl at the rave to peruzz with".
About 45mins away from Reading, it was dark and the journey just seemed long. I needed to pee. Oh did I mention, we had 3 cocktail flask in the car that had concoction in them. Every guys knows the power of ether and urine. Bloody enemies. I politely asked my dear friend to stop the car, a brother had to pee. He refused, giving a crazy excuse. I figured the dude was scared because it was dark, he didn't want to spook his girlfriend out.
I couldn't hold it in, I needed to pee badly to which he went off on me, if I needed to pee that bad, I should pee in any empty flask. He was not stopping at all.
Some people do not undertsand the power of piss, I was already twitching, full body shaking like I was doing a new dance move, my toes were curling. This was it, the end of my life. And if they ask, how did it happen.. He passed out from holding his own piss. My bladder!! So I took the only option offered to me. I took a piss in the cocktail flask, I didn't check If it was empty or not. I didn't say a word in the car. I just emptied what I can only assume to be 50cl of pure concentrated man piss inside the cocktail flask. Ohhh sweet paradise, the joy, peace, serenity. The burden was lifted. We finally got to Reading and I did not tell him what I did or anyone. I planned on throwing the piss away but I forgot. Later that night, whilst in the company of other friends sharing stories and getting ready for the party. My friend decided it was time to finish his cocktail. 3 flask and I did not know which one had my concentrated man piss inside. So he took one of the flask, opened it (just so you know, everything at this point happened in slow motion). Poured the contents into a cup and drank it all, I was wishing it was indeed the cocktail. He made facial gestures and finally boasted on making the best cocktail. I was relieved, it wasn't my piss. He beckoned on the other friends to try it, 2 dudes and 2 girls drank from the cocktail flask, not too much but enough for everyone to have a sip except me. I opted out. When the cocktail flask he was holding was empty, he proceeded to open the remaining two. Lo and behold, they were empty. They all drank my piss. 3 grown ass men and 2 beautiful girls drank my piss.
Moral of the story, never leave London during rush hour. Traffic is mad that period.


  1. Buhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha
    Your piss sure is potent...
    Even boasting to have made the best cocktail ever
    Hope you never confessed sha

  2. lmao! you are a joker!

  3. Dats some crazy thng tho. Well atleast dey neva knew..shh. #smiln wickedly#