Monday, 27 May 2013


We all have different ways of dealing with rejection. They say love unrequited hurts the most because you can never understand why the person you love, can't love you back. For some people it takes a lot of courage to actually express how they feel inside because they don't want to come off as being too desperate even when its not in their favour, they decide to take the risk and still open up, the fear of getting rejected eats them up slowly everytime they choose to express how they feel inside.
Rejection emotionally damages your self-esteem. Emotional pain is the most difficult pain to handle and deal with because the pain never truly heals by itself or with time, you just hope it eventually goes away or you stop paying attention to it to even notice its existence.
Although studies have shown that women get rejected a lot, love and never be loved in return but men also go through the same struggle even more. About 65% of the male gender gets romantically rejected almost every year, a stage known as friend zone. 
This makes me wonder, does the heart sometimes love the wrong one? Does the heart make mistake on who it chooses to love? Or do we deceive ourselves to trust in a make believe moment where you are more than convinced that you love the person and they love you back? Does the heart indeed lie to us?? The problem with getting rejected is that you never quite get over it, your feelings for that person may eventually die but your brain would never forget that someone you actually cared for could reject you even when you thought (assumed) you read all the signs right. Putting into consideration time and all the effort put in, How do you recover from that? Are we slaves to our emotions? Do we expect too much just because we see them differently, do we expect they would love us because we spend so much time with them? Do we expect them to care about us because we have known them for a long period of time?
Sometimes we question our heart for allowing us love someone who is emotionally unavailable.. is the heart in tune with our way of life to always want something we know we can't have?? 
In most cases, we blame ourselves for the rejection, maybe we didn't show our love enough, maybe we are not good enough, maybe our past keeps chasing us, maybe we don't deserve to be happy.. 
Unrequited love is a slow poison.. Literally, killing you slowly with each passing day. Feelings need something to feed on and when they have nothing, they tend to feed on themselves.
We should understand that love is almost like an elastic band/rubber band.. It has the ability to be stretched out to its limit and then retract back to its original size.
Even when the elastic band breaks and you tie two ends together, there is always going to be that visible knot. A perfect picture of the band has being tainted. When you love someone who doesn't love you back.. Your love has being stretched to its limit and it might just break with your heart and emotions crushed.
“Every broken heart has screamed at one time or another: why can’t you see who I truly am? – Shannon L Adler
Some days we stay up thinking and wondering, with everything I have done, said, all the efforts I have put in, he/she can’t still see me in a different way.
Unrequited love is a ridiculous state, and it makes those in it behave ridiculously – Cassandra Clare. 
I remember during my active years on a popular social media network platform “twitter”, I had this unbelievable attraction for one of my followers and every day I retweeted her tweets, replied some of the tweets also but she always ignored me and that made me try harder to get her attention. Most days my timeline would be congested with only tweets from her account and she still didnt even notice me, it got to a point I changed my avatar on my profile to her picture and yet I was far from recognition. She replied everyone else, RT’d their tweets, gave S/O but I always got ignored.
I got tired of waiting for her to even say hi, I moved on. Suffice to say, she noticed I wasn’t all about her anymore, tried to get in touch with me but by then I was over her.
We find ourselves trying too hard not to let go, putting in more effort hoping it would change something, hoping the person we are in love with would notice but as long as they don't feel the same way, they never truly appreciate the beauty of the love you feel.
“Winter is much like unrequited love; cold and merciless” – Kellie Elmore
In 2010, I reconnected with a girl from my childhood, months passed and we got really close. More often than not she tried to hint me of her feelings for me but I chose to ignore. We can’t be anything more than friends i kept telling myself, she cant possibly love me. 4months into the reunion she flew in from New York where she was based at the time just to see me. She spent 8 days in London with each passing day a plea to see me to which I refused; I waited until the final day whilst she was on her way back to the states to see her, not even in person but via Skype. I never considered that I acted like a douche bag to her. I felt I was too busy to see her, besides I never asked her to come to London but in reality, I zoned her to the point where I didn’t care about how my actions affected her. I remember her telling me about the things she gave up to see me, those words hunted me for a long time. My apologies were never enough. 
Unrequited love hurts deep, friendship or relationship....  

To be continued……


  1. Wow.. Great piece!

  2. As usual you always give it ur best bobo nice one frm Nana

  3. Nice piece, once had an experience when I loved so much yet not love as I wish. Kudos to u.

  4. WOW another wonderful masterpiece...I love it cus it explains certain actions of the past to me...
    I now know...keep us posted weeks without this makes me feel suffocated
    ....You know who 'Adaeze'

  5. awesome piece. "We find ourselves trying too hard not to let go, putting in more..." its a painful phase and most times, it doesn't pass.

  6. I love.......

  7. Wow!! Makes me think back to someone I friend zoned, I feel really bad now, wonder if it can b done without sum1 hurting bcos @tyms we myt like sum1 dat will not like u back

  8. Nice... love the first 2 paragraphs. kinda like my story, funny its a lot of people's story. Indeed unrequited love hurts but we can survive it. I did or still am.. We deserve to be loved but by the right people,it doesn't come cheap.
    KISSES teddy.

  9. Wowwww. Totally practical. Have been a victim too. It took me 10yrs to let go but I'm very glad I did. Happily married now with the one for me.

  10. Nice,one.kudos