Tuesday, 19 June 2012


So where do we draw the line of loyalty to our friends? Loyalty vs Happiness. what gives? that is the question for the day, how loyal can you be to a friend? More specifically, is it right to date your friend's ex? considering time and effort put into their relationship. I often hear people say it is not right or acceptable, do you risk your loyalty for a lifetime of happiness if the time frame may apply? When people end relationships and move on with other people, do they subconsciously mark their ex as theirs and make them non date-able for others most especially their friends? So is the new life they have with someone else not enough they have to keep tabs on who their ex is dating now? is it just a personal rule or a known fact? sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where the new person you are with was someone's ex and a friend as well. Is there a restriction on who you can love? Do you forfeit your love for your friend's ex for the loyalty to your friend? They made me believe love has no restriction, no limitation and no boundaries, so is it ok to say where you find yourself in such situation of choosing between your loyalty to your friend and the chance of been happy with the ex you are placing a limit to love??? more also they made me believe that you do not choose  who you give your heart to, you cannot control how much you feel and who you love, do you risk your chance at been happy with someone else just to respect what the society see as a code of conduct??? You are not allowed to date your friend's ex but it is way more easy to love someone you already know, understand, trust and can tolerate their differences, initially you may not have felt anything for your ex's friend and with the amount of time spent opening up to them and trusting them with fragments of your heart, you tend to love them eventually isn't that what love is about?? where at your weakest point, the person that makes you feel the strongest, supports you, makes you happy thats who you eventually fall for? so how is that a crime? Allow me to paint another scenario, what if a guy dates a girl and in the course of the relationship they realise they are not meant for each other, they end it on a mutual ground and the girl gets the chance to move on, the guy decides to take a break from dating and couple of years later he finds love with his ex's friend, did he do something wrong? and this works vice versa. before you get judgmental, consider this also that people needed to let others go and become an ex in order for you to find them available and date them. what if they held on to their ex's as well would you be as happy as you are now with having someone new, So giving someone else a chance, say your said friend in question the opportunity to be happy with your ex is only fair because someone else did the same thing too for you. Someone had to be an ex for you to include them in your present and possibly in your future. Giving someone that same chance other than yourself is also the right thing to do. What if your said ex was not part of the plan for your life, holding unto them or preventing someone else from being with them, what good would that do to and for you. I understand that sometimes it may be difficult for people to deal with the fact that their ex has moved on or is moving on regardless of how many years may have gone by from when they broke up and most especially if they moved on with someone they both know but it is safe to say this, there is a reason why it didn't work out for you and them, consider the progress you have made without having them in your life, the chance of being with someone else, working on your weakness and maximizing your strength, addressing your fault or what you considered a problem, you have had the chance of doing it all over again with someone new and doing it right, if you have truly let them go and moved on, whoever they date should not be a problem. Finally, if it were you in their shoes, would you put your friendship first against your chances of being happy? have this in mind, it is way more easier said than done. words are just words. Until you find yourself in that same position, you may not know any better.

1 comment:

  1. Am in love with my frnds ex and am so confused cos I dnt even knw if he feels the same way bout me ...aniways all uve said is true the loyalty and happiness thingy.....