So lately i have been watching a lot of romantic movies and tv shows, trying to reconnect with certain dead emotions in me. One thing is always constant, as long you have someone who you were at one time in love with that is not your current partner, there is a slight chance you might still end up with them giving the right time and opportunity. This had me thinking for days, so all the drama, the process of trying to re invent yourself, complete avoidance of anything remotely associated to love songs, changing your wardrobe, avoiding all the hang out spot you used to love, refusal to wear certain clothes because they brought back some kind heart felt memories, the strip club therapy for guys and the ice cream bowl with alcohol for the girls, only couple of years later you discover or realise you still have feelings for them, even when you are married. Isn't that just a bitch?? All you keep remembering are moments where cheesy promises were made, does this mean we all have just person to always love and be in love with us?? In simple words, we only have one soul mate to truly love us and if we missed them, we would be miserable all the days of our life? So much power been given to the "ex". So back to my tv shows, i have watched "friends season 1-10" strangely for about 30times (which that was a complete useless fact) and i always wanted the love rachel and ross had. In my head, their love was beautiful, he got to be with her at the end of the day regardless of everything that tore them apart, though based on fictional characters. I did not really fully understand the deep message they tried to pass across to me, at least not until last week (another useless fact). No matter how hard ross tried to get over rachel, dating few beautiful girls, in the time frame of 10 years he still ended up with her. Why??? the writers of the show made us (audience, viewers and fans) believe that she was his soulmate, when he said the wrong name at the altar of his second wedding, had jealousy issues, even had a little fling with rachels sister, in the end he still went back to rachel after they shared a moment. Like i said, a tv show based on fictional characters but i am sure for those of us that have ever being in love, we can almost relate to this. The days where we try so hard not to pick up our phones to call our ex, when we keep talking about our ex to random strangers that didn't ask to be slayed with such pointless long story, when we are on a date with someone else and we cant stop thinking about them, become philosophical and write witty sayings about love and its unfairness. This is what confuses me, so why all the fuss if we know we are still going to end up together? i keep asking myself this question every time i watch the aforementioned tv show.
Love can be tricky at times and like i often say, it is not for the faint hearted. You need to be insane in order to be in love because love has no sense in it. Again, this leaves me confused. So does this explain all the random moments we do dumb things for the sake of love like not talk to an ex for almost 3 years, start dating someone new, propose and then randomly meet the said ex, suddenly realize you are making a big mistake by marrying someone else??? willing to give the good thing up just for an ex??? like how does that work? Again i question this much believed quote "there is one person for each of us, a soul mate".
I strongly believe that with time, anyone can be your soul mate as long as you let them in and give them a chance. Love is not tied to one person alone but do i still want to underestimate the power of an ex???
In an episode of "how i met your mother" Ted Mosby a lovey dovey 30 something years old man is about to get married to a woman who he truly loves and adores, out of his good heart invites his wife to Be's ex to his wedding and his bride runs off with her ex that same day before the ceremony even started citing too much history between them. Fictional storyline again but does this mean having a history together play a major role in moving on from your ex??? considering the amount of years put in and effort also. Would it not be the right thing to do by giving someone else a chance to do better. do we run back to our ex's because we want to feel safe?
From personal experience, i try not to mingle with an ex, reason being i left you because we were not working out and even though i may love you very much, it may hurt to end this, i can not stay unhappy with you. the next person i date has to be an opposite version of you, where you flawed, the person is best at it. not like a replacement but just someone better. if i do run into you somehow, i am glad i upgraded. forget past history, yeah we had fun so fuck what?? does it mean that i have to mess this good thing up just to have a taste of what i had in the past?? i thought we were meant to be moving forward? there is no love story as great as writing a new one with someone new. give an ex a chance??? NEVER!
Ex's would always have a strong hold on us but we should understand how we let that hold affect us is entirely up to us. So enough of cheesy examples with reference to tv shows, allow me to be real
i got to stage where i understood basic principles, never get drunk with an ex. booze messes up your ability to reason out certain things and then sex complicates it. there no such thing as closure sex, if you must get closure probably in a very public far far away from your house or nearby hotel. it is human nature to always desire what they can not have but how do we deal with a situation where you had it, let it go and now you want because you cannot have it?? but you had it before didn't you??
Never share a forbidden kiss, now this is very tricky because it can come in different forms, from a goodbye kiss to a hello kiss, a little bump into each others lips, don't ask me how that happens, honestly i don't know. basically never share a moment with an ex.
No matter how loving and faithful you may be to your significant other, do not underestimate the power of an ex, even if she/he is ugly and not sexy as your present partner, there is something always fucked up with shared history and that is the beginning of a trip down memory lane, feelings rush in.
You cannot stay civil with an ex, an ex that you were once in love with, it DOES NOT WORK! No to staying friends also, they are referred to as an ex, do not attempt to make it more than what it is, contrary to popular believes, feelings never die or fade, they just stay dormant when not acted upon. They can get active in the most unlikely circumstance.
In conclusion, never fuxx with an ex, 10 years ago or 5months ago. if real feelings were involved, you are headed for doomsday. Avoid your ex people... HAHA!