Thursday 1 November 2012

THE TITLE: PAIN OR PLEASURE

A title is only as good as the relationship you are in, sometimes we want the title for the sake of our ego.
A lot of people would not agree to this but it is OK, the truth from my opinion would still be told.
The title, this is the official term given to people who are emotionally committed to a relationship. This makes everything official and real, indirectly delegating responsibilities to the people involved and the roles required of them to play. As constructive as the aforementioned definition may sound, note the key words "responsibility and roles".
So does giving titles mess a relationship up? if i am allowed to be honest, every woman would want to know her place in a man's life, what role they are playing, how important are they, their worth and value. sometimes women consider title as the foundation and basis of a relationship hence putting men in tight corners, spotlight, forcing them into relationships they find hard committing to. she wants to know her status, girlfriend or mistress?  Call me your girlfriend so i can play the part, makes me wonder if it is a movie, play or drama.
This does not only apply to women alone, men also crave for the title, they feel it tells them where they fit in, what they can expect from the relationship.
I am not saying giving titles is bad but the obsession about having a title is what ruins a seemingly good relationship. I believe before you start off anything with anyone, you already know how it is going to play out, so i do not get why people act surprised along the way or leave because of a mere title.
Is having a title that important? Would it make the relationship last longer? Would it make you love your partner more?
I am not encouraging undercover love affairs  but if i am to understand this properly, giving your partner a title makes the relationship more official? official in what? giving your relationship a title, helps define it? really? If someone genuinely loves you, cares about you, faithful and committed to you, loyal to you, honest and truthful, trust worthy. Please where does the term "title" come in? Would the person  not be all of this even after the title, so what exactly is the role of a title in a relationship.
She is my girlfriend, he is my boyfriend, like they are your property to own. he/she is my boo thang, sugar ray, honey pot, honey boo, booboo. Cool story. No please go on.
Sometimes you may just have a good thing going and then when you start labeling it, it just make it almost like a burden instead of a blessing.
The obsession to give out titles, like that is the driving force in every relationship is sometimes surreal. i get it, you love your significant other but you are sure if they are for real when they give you a title, understand this calling someone a boyfriend/girlfriend is still just a made up word. People focus most of their energy trying to live up to that word, to attain that position, to be labelled as such, to be given that title. With or without the title, the relationship still goes on as long as your feelings are true. No matter how many times we label a white stallion with a sharp horn on its forehead as a "unicorn", unicorns still do not exist in this world.
My idea of a relationship, it really doesn't matter what you call each other as long as everyone knows what to do, without stress or drama. Feelings growing stronger everyday.
Recently, i almost got into a semi argument with someone i was close to, her point "i do not see the need to call a girl boo, babe, darling, sweetheart" if you are not dating her. This set me off, what sort of myopic mindset is this. How did we just assume calling someone pet names guaranty a relationship status. Never argue with a girl is my motto, so i simply replied that i have lived in the UK for almost three years and it would shock her to know a total stranger might just call you a pet name. It is part of exchanging pleasantries especially if its in a service delivery store. "hey darling, yes love, take care sweetheart".you don't believe me, Google any restaurant, shop in the UK and just call them. So if a store sales rep calls me darling or love, it means she is into me, i am her man lover, black African prince mandingo and we are in a relationship, Story
How can people just assume a title defines a relationship? If you do not call me your boyfriend then we are not dating, if you do not call me the title "girlfriend or boo" then this is not official. Pure BS to be honest. Or some might say Calling me boo makes me know that i am yours and you are mine, i never knew humans could also be acquired? MINE? really?
If you are in a relationship, you get treated with respect, love, spoiled with attention, never get cheated on, why else would you want to leave because of a title?
In my opinion, if someone can make you happy, hold on to them.
The obsession to have a title gives you sense of security, security from what? what is there to secure? alien invasion on your relationship? intergalactic war? sense of security how? i still do not get why people say that or it makes you know your place, your place? i can only assume you did not just move into your new place to have forgotten where it is, we have map apps to help us find your place.
If they call you boo or not, and your heart is no more in the relationship, the titles would not change anything, it would not fix things neither would it bring dead feelings back to life. Same thing goes for a situation where the title is given, it doesn't remotely affect how you treat the person you are with or how much you love them.
Title or not, a relationship is not defined  by it but by the people involved in the relationship.
Focus more on your partner or significant other than the pet names they call you or the titles you give them.
To be continued..........................


4 comments:

  1. In my opinion it is best to define a relationship. If every girl/dude is baby/boo/honey/sugar there's a problem and by every girl/dude I do not mean some random girl at the stores I mean a friend. My boyfriend cannot call his female friends baby and honey. It just doesn't sit right. I bet u would not find it funny when you are at the receiving end of this.I'd say defining a relationship is everything!!!! Because u have to kn whr u stand!

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  2. True story....angela

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  3. I tolally agree wit u angela, I hv a frnd dat was in a relationship 4 3yrs,along d way she tot 2 ask whr d rel was headin 2 nd he said "no whr, we r jst frnds" lol, wow! Really? U really won't understand until ur @ d receiving end. a relationship must b defined if d issue is d title den look 4 a way way 2 define it witout d title

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  4. Title and pet names!!. Just find someone who is serious and u too be a serious person and ur chances of asking "what are we" "where are we going with this" is reduced. U dip ur hand in tha toilet and then say "oh damn my hand smells like shit". Ninjas be trippin.

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