HER vs HIM

Love is for the brave. Sometimes we miss out on the best thing that can ever happen to us because we are too scared to take a leap or make a move. Assumption has always been a silent killer. Someone once said when you assume you make an ass of U(your significant other) and ME. If only people would just say what they feel. Genie's do not exist so it is almost impossible to make wishes come true. If you love someone, let them know. It is better you hear what they have to say than just assume or let your fear of rejection get the best of you.


Her thoughts: So i am here listening to love songs hoping to let my imaginations run wild. This is so depressing and i wish you could see me as more than just a friend. I find myself secretly wishing you would call my cell phone like you always do but this time, you tell me how much i mean to you. I wish you would realise how much i would sacrifice to see you happy, what i would give up just to see you smile, the things i do to please you. I wish you would appreciate me for me and not see me as someone you run to when you need help or comfort. I wish you would spend more time with me more, i wish we would have that moment where i pause for a bit and bask in all the love and attention you spoil me with. I wish you would tell me about how much you miss me and care about me instead of making me listen to your feelings for someone else. I wish we could go to the movies together and just hold hands afterwards. I wish we would have breakfast, lunch and dinner enjoying each others company. I wish i could tell you how i feel about you but i am afraid you may not feel the same.


His thoughts: I keep looking at your pictures and reading your text message all over again trying to over analyse every word and establish a connection. I wish you would realize how much i appreciate you and i am thankful for everyday i get to see you. I wish you would notice how much it hurts me not being able to express how i feel about you, i wish you would understand how much i need you, you are the first person i run to if anything goes wrong, i wish you notice how shy i get when i am around you and how much i want to spend a full day with you but get extremely shy and leave, i wish you realised that moment where i stared at you and how i appreciated every minute of looking at you, i wish you understood what i was trying to say when i called you to tell you about my feelings for someone close to me and how scared i was because i felt they would not feel anything back but in reality i was talking about you, i wish you would realise that the time we had a quick snack at the cafeteria it felt like breakfast and the time we ate at yours, lunch and that evening i asked you to join me for take out because we worked so hard on that essay that was dinner. I wish i could just tell you i much i am in love  with you but i am scared you may resent me afterwards for complicating things between us.

They stayed friends for a very long time and lost touch with each other eventually making it easy for them to grow apart. in between years, they attempted dating different people whilst trying so hard to deny their feelings for each other. finally, they successfully got over each other but got stuck with regrets of what if's moments. if you love someone..... damn... JUST SAY IT! Let them know. 

LDR: CAN WE MAKE IT WORK?

Long distance relationship or LDR as it is often called has been a major problem in relationships as they often say love needs presence to grow and blossom, then again contradictory to that statement  absence makes the heart grow fonder. So does that imply LDR can be successful with the absence of your significant other? does their absence make you appreciate them better? Statistics have shown that most young relationships end prematurely due to LDR, if i am allowed to be frank, LDR is just fucking hard to be honest but with the aid of modern technology, old ways of communication has been made obsolete. In the 18th century, LDR was seen to be the strength and growth of young lovers and love, as partners turned into love poets writing love letters and sending it with trained doves as carriers and some sometimes a message in a bottle, How romantic would that have been now? and No you can not keep the dove as a pet. I remember in the early 2000's, emails and yahoo messenger chat was the fastest way to reach a loved one across borders. overnight chats and special messages with sounds, short videos and images and then it got better, mobile phones became an asset as well and now we have BBM and Skype video call which allows you to chat and send voice notes, more also see your significant other and talk to them as well. So if there is constant communication, what then is the problem of LDR? Do people just assume once your significant other is half across the world, your relationship is bound to fail? Sometimes they end the relationship without even trying. Here is the truth, LDR is not meant for everyone, some people have the gift of making it work regardless of the distance while others, not so lucky. What are the problems of LDR?

Communication, this the basis of every relationship. In LDR, constant communication is required as it helps both parties stay in-touch with each other and be involved in each others lives. Although constant communication can never be enough especially when the person involved is accustomed to being with their partner physically even with the constant texting which has its disadvantage of your finger tips hurting or constant phone calls which can incur bills or Skype calls which sometimes you may just fall asleep half way through the conversation because you have had a long day at work or school and all you want is to just sleep or even time different time zones (morning at your end and past midnight at your significant other), days where you are swamped with work or have a busy schedule so you keep the conversations short and precise. Communication in LDR is very tricky, you can never do it enough. It does not replace their presence and can not make up for absence either but most times if the relationship started off as LDR, it is easy for both parties to nurture their love and perfect it by just communicating with each other because that is all they have for now and that is all they know. bottom line, it takes real effort in spite of communication barriers to make it work.

Insecurity, this can not be over emphasized enough as even healthy non LDR are also affected. This is a situation where the significant feels less active in their partner's life and they are scared someone else is playing the same role they once had. With miles apart from each other, it is hard not to think someone else somewhere is filling your shoes and making your loved one more happy with their presence that can lead to paranoia where you begin to imagine situations that do not exist, you call their phones several times and when no answer or response, your brain just assumes they are with other people or you call them and you over hear a voice in the background, he/she is out with someone else... ever considered that could be their boss, family relative or just a casual friend? Paranoia kills everything living, especially relationships.

Lack of trust, this is the key to every relationship as trust strengthens the confidence you have in your significant other. Once trust is broken it takes ages to get it back and in most cases you never get it back at all. In LDR, trust is also an issue because distance plays its role by separating you from the person you care about then you start to worry if they are doing the right thing or not, like i said earlier, paranoia comes into play, where you are over analytical about everything they say, suspicious of every move they make and sometimes build up emotional walls in other to strengthen yourself in expectation for the worst that may lead to doing things you might end up regretting. with trust in LDR, behavioural patterns and dating history are factors that you may consider. if your significant other has a long history of being flirtatious then worrying is almost expected because you begin to question their loyalty whenever they are in company with the opposite sex, you call them more than often to check if you would catch them off guard and that may lead to a strain in your relationship. as long as you can not trust your partner, you can not make the relationship work.

LDR sometimes act as a prelude to a breakup because being separated from your significant other and the efforts to keep things going may become over bearing and the only right thing to do is to end it in a subtle way by letting distance give it a natural death. Ending a normal relationship may seem too difficult and emotional to do, so when a partner is separated for too long from the significant other, letting them go would not be hard to do as they slowly warm up to their environment losing everything that reminded them of what they had.

Expectations may also differ in LDR and that also may cause a problem for the people involved. Different expectations may create difficulty in making the relationship work as one partner may put all their effort into it and can not wait to reunite with their significant other while the other partner may see it as another chance to try something new and be open to new experience. More also, one partner may see the need to talk to their significant other every hour of the day and their partner may see the need to talk to them few days in a week. You and your partner's expectation must or should be the same so it does not leave one person expecting more than the other person can give.

I have mentioned few of the major problems with LDR and now some solutions, although most LDR's are not built to last but it is the effort to make it work that counts. In the problems of LDR also lies the solution. Communicate as much as possible from BBM, Emails, Text, Calls, Skype video calls, tweets though the conversations sometimes may seem scripted and other times boring but at some point you can not deny the comfort you feel from hearing from each other. Calls can incur ridiculous phone bills, you can spice things up by leaving lovely voice mails or sending voice notes as well so they hear your voice at random moments when they do not even expect to. You can send pictures and videos as well.

Trust is the key. Learn to trust your partner even when you have doubts which is almost normal to happen in every relationship, re assurance of their devotion is never a waste. Lack of trust and jealousy go hand in hand, you should understand with a new environment your partner would have to socialise more, make new friends, hang out more to feel at home. You dont expect them to stop living just because they are in a LDR. Drama is no no!!! repeat after me: drama is a no no! Do not be too over trusting by acting naive about everything going on in your relationship but at the same time do not be over suspicious. here is a quick one, do not do anything your partner would not be pleased about.

As much as branding is seen as a cheeky move and by branding i mean giving your partner a personal item that belongs to you with a sentimental attachment to it. This also helps, even though the distance separates you from your partner, they still have something to remind them of you. Personal item can either be their favorite wrist watch, jewelery, perfume or a shirt that has their body scent. it does not replace their presence but helps in dealing with the absence.

Always stay positive even when things are not going well, stay positive and keep an open mind. Never expect the worst or play God or assume anything. stay positive.

Do not limit yourself to the laws of LDR.... break it. challenge yourself by trying to be among the few  people who have made it work despite been far apart. In the end, all that matters is how much effort you are willing to put into it to make it. Your effort counts and if it is not meant to be.... You tried your best to make it work with no regrets. To people in LDR, stay strong and stay positive!!

IS IT WRONG TO DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX??

So where do we draw the line of loyalty to our friends? Loyalty vs Happiness. what gives? that is the question for the day, how loyal can you be to a friend? More specifically, is it right to date your friend's ex? considering time and effort put into their relationship. I often hear people say it is not right or acceptable, do you risk your loyalty for a lifetime of happiness if the time frame may apply? When people end relationships and move on with other people, do they subconsciously mark their ex as theirs and make them non date-able for others most especially their friends? So is the new life they have with someone else not enough they have to keep tabs on who their ex is dating now? is it just a personal rule or a known fact? sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where the new person you are with was someone's ex and a friend as well. Is there a restriction on who you can love? Do you forfeit your love for your friend's ex for the loyalty to your friend? They made me believe love has no restriction, no limitation and no boundaries, so is it ok to say where you find yourself in such situation of choosing between your loyalty to your friend and the chance of been happy with the ex you are placing a limit to love??? more also they made me believe that you do not choose  who you give your heart to, you cannot control how much you feel and who you love, do you risk your chance at been happy with someone else just to respect what the society see as a code of conduct??? You are not allowed to date your friend's ex but it is way more easy to love someone you already know, understand, trust and can tolerate their differences, initially you may not have felt anything for your ex's friend and with the amount of time spent opening up to them and trusting them with fragments of your heart, you tend to love them eventually isn't that what love is about?? where at your weakest point, the person that makes you feel the strongest, supports you, makes you happy thats who you eventually fall for? so how is that a crime? Allow me to paint another scenario, what if a guy dates a girl and in the course of the relationship they realise they are not meant for each other, they end it on a mutual ground and the girl gets the chance to move on, the guy decides to take a break from dating and couple of years later he finds love with his ex's friend, did he do something wrong? and this works vice versa. before you get judgmental, consider this also that people needed to let others go and become an ex in order for you to find them available and date them. what if they held on to their ex's as well would you be as happy as you are now with having someone new, So giving someone else a chance, say your said friend in question the opportunity to be happy with your ex is only fair because someone else did the same thing too for you. Someone had to be an ex for you to include them in your present and possibly in your future. Giving someone that same chance other than yourself is also the right thing to do. What if your said ex was not part of the plan for your life, holding unto them or preventing someone else from being with them, what good would that do to and for you. I understand that sometimes it may be difficult for people to deal with the fact that their ex has moved on or is moving on regardless of how many years may have gone by from when they broke up and most especially if they moved on with someone they both know but it is safe to say this, there is a reason why it didn't work out for you and them, consider the progress you have made without having them in your life, the chance of being with someone else, working on your weakness and maximizing your strength, addressing your fault or what you considered a problem, you have had the chance of doing it all over again with someone new and doing it right, if you have truly let them go and moved on, whoever they date should not be a problem. Finally, if it were you in their shoes, would you put your friendship first against your chances of being happy? have this in mind, it is way more easier said than done. words are just words. Until you find yourself in that same position, you may not know any better.

THE LETTER:

This is dedicated to everyone who has lost a lover. All the words you wished you had the opportunity to say. I hope this helps you let them go. 

Dear lost love,

It is with deep regret I write this, though I know it is too late but I just want to unburden myself from the guilt I feel inside. I know we had it rough and I promised to treat you right, sometimes the bad times overshadowed the good. In the end relationships can be such a pain especially when you do not seem to understand what is going on, if you are the reason for the mishap and if you can help deal with the situation by sacrificing more. I tried to love you in the best way I knew how to but I always fell short because the feeling was overwhelming and I just could not express it well enough.

I had to lose you in order for me to understand what I did wrong, I still cannot forget the day you walked away, it felt like the best part of me was taken. I missed you so much. Each time I closed my eyes I saw visions of you. I never thought you would leave me, I never thought it would end the way it did, leaving me empty and drained, I never thought you would make me laugh or smile. My feelings were very much alive and they became stronger with each passing day that I missed you. Every night and day I prayed that I would be that one person you have in your life for always, losing you has been the hardest thing I would ever have to deal with, I often wondered what the essence of falling in love was, if at the end you end up feeling miserable, depressed and frustrated. My heart did beat for you and all my thoughts were of you though I had a strange way of showing it.  The idea of you been happy with someone else always left a landmine of heartaches; like that someone else could have being me. I loved you a great deal and even now that I find myself having a lot of “what if’s”. I tried not to picture me without you, the love we shared together that made us strong, facing every challenge life threw at us. Regrets and mistakes that I made became my daily companion; if I were a better version of myself would it make you stay? If I became the idea you had about me would it change your feelings towards me now? Would you care more to know I was doing everything in power to make you happy? If I told you more how much I loved you, would we still be together? 

There was a time when you believed in us, so why couldn’t we make it through this; the process of losing you completely, I was supposed to be your back bone, I was supposed to protect you but some days I was so caught up with my own issues I left you exposed to deal with whatever it was yourself. 

Wanting more than what I had made me lose out on the best things you had to offer, constant comparisons with the people I had in my past life without realising how much damage I was doing to your self esteem made it easy for you to pull away from me. 

I prayed for you more than I prayed for myself, I carried you in my spirit so I never went a day without you in my life. I just wished I showed you how much I really cared. The pain you feel from loving alone can sometimes make the heart bleed, and sometimes I made you feel that way. I wish I could go back in time to when everything about you and me mattered then all this pain I feel inside wouldn’t be there and I could save whatever we once shared. So many thoughts keep running through my mind, what if saving us or what we had is not necessary, what if we were just supposed to be together for a short while, what if you were never mine. I died in your arms the first time I kissed your lips, died in your arms when you held me close and you told me how much you loved me, died in your arms when… I died so many times that I felt more alive every time it happened.

They say if you can take the pain of a broken heart then you should let the person you are in love with go, what I didn’t get was: how was I supposed to do that when somewhere in my heart, you mattered. They say love is the slowest form of suicide and slowly I found myself dying without you. I tried burning every picture of "us", stopped playing all the songs that reminded me of you and yet I still wanted you even more then I met someone new, different in a good way. At first, it took awhile to open up because in my head and heart I secretly wished you would still come back to me. I had grown up, a little wiser, more matured and emotionally stable. I wanted you to see the new me and experience the kind of love you always wanted. I did not want to share this new me with someone else because I felt I owed you that much but the memory of the moments we shared kept hunting me and I had to let go, I had to let you go. I was scared to start something new with a stranger, the fear of losing them due to my much complicated yet very confused personas, the idea of breaking my walls, making them my everything and been left with nothing if and when they eventually leave but love and relationship is a risk, you are never really sure of what you might be getting yourself into but you are willing to place you heart and emotions in the hands of the only person that can squeeze the life out of it and hope they don’t. I was wiling to go through that because sometimes all you really need is to start afresh and work your way to the top. In order for me to move on, I had to let go of you and everything I held on to. They say true forgiveness starts in you first then on to others. No sharing of blames, no regrets and no resentment. I needed to give someone else a chance to make me happy, I needed to make them happy as well, I have and I treasure every moment of this new found happiness. You made me become a better person. I had to lose you to painfully realise that I could indeed become a better person at loving someone else other than myself and expressing myself with words, gestures and actions.

It’s been few weeks, few months

Happiness has found its way back into my life. I wish you well always.

SEXUAL ABUSE: THE UGLY SIDE

What is happening to our society and the children who would become future leaders of tomorrow. Do we blame it on bad parenting or over exposure to indecent materials. How do we curb the things our kids learn, see or hear during their formative years. Few days ago, few of my friends told me about a video that went viral on the Internet of young boy and girl having proper sexual intercourse in. The first thing that came to my mind was, how did it get this bad? Are the parents aware? Few personal opinions slandered the character of the girl involved because from her actions in the video, it suggested that she knew exactly what to do, she led the little boy on and more also that would not have been their first time. Whoever captured it on film and uploaded it on the Internet should be punished also because to me, that is child pornography. This makes me wonder a lot, what really goes on when parents are not home to watch their kids and they entrust a nanny or a maid to look after their innocent kids. A young boy of such age being exposed to sexual immoral practices is beyond disgusting. It is an eye sore. This is sexual abuse. What I am yet to understand is what led the girl whom I believe her responsibility was to watch over the child engage in such unholy act. Was she also molested at a young age? From reviews of people, they all suggested she knew exactly what to do. Was she sexually abused for a long period of time and the only way to deal with such trauma was take it out on some one else??? How do we curb sexual abuse with our children? Daily we hear of adults raping kids as young as 4 months to 12 years of age. Recently, I read an article about a woman who met a man on line and allowed him violate her daughter who was 5 years of age just to prove her love for him. And then took it further by making a video of it, doesn't that sicken you to your stomach?? A father who raped his own baby of 6 months and gave the baby HIV/AIDS. People In authority that we entrust, misusing their power. The society we live in are experts in covering such practices because girls/boys who are sexually molested by adults cannot speak out. They fear the backlash they would receive and sometimes such claims are never taken serious. The word of a child over that of an adult??? I am still a bit irritated by the fact that this has gone on for too long. What becomes of that young boy In the video or the girl placed to watch over him??? What happens to them psychologically?? Sexual abuse is real... And there are people dying In silence because they cannot speak out. The abuse still continues and it leaves them traumatized for life. Parents should please place watchful eyes over their kids. Don't be too busy to the point where you entrust the life of your baby in the hands of a maid, nanny or an adult family member. Parents protect your kids. That's your responsibility.

I MISS YOU

I have tried to deal with the thought of losing you and how i would never get the chance to tell you how much i love you. All the chances i missed, all the times and moments we spent and shared together and how i wont get that back. I can not still believe its only been 3 years. The sadness of not being able to see you smile or hear your voice and feel the warmth of your embrace. I remember the last conversation we had just before i went back to Kano, you looked at me and asked me to always be careful and make sure i do not get myself into trouble, i really tried to stay out of trouble but..... i miss you so much it hurts. I would never find any friend like you, always putting me first above others even when you know i always acted a little bit selfish. I miss how you would advice me about the women in my life. I made a lot of mistake with strange women, Lol. got hurt few times.

When i heard the news of your passing, i remembered the last time i saw your face, what you were wearing, how your mum called your phone and i spoke to her because she was getting worried that it was getting late and you were still not home. I remember how much i tried to live in denial, how many times tears flowed freely from my eyes and you know i hardly cry, how most nights i stay up because i cant sleep, thinking about you or days where i dream of you and refused to wake up so i don't lose your face, all the times i would wait by the phone for you to call. I remember how difficult it was for me to go through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I remember our first outing together in public and how many people assumed we were dating, how we ran into that saucy girl that you didn't like how she smiled *holdslaugh* and how you made her jealous by kissing my cheeks, i remember the first time i was brave enough to watch a football match, how much your constant jabs at me convinced me to suck in 90 minutes of the game and i still cant remember what team played. I remember how you encouraged me to try new food and those long afternoons where we would just have a good laugh at how frustrated university was and how much more course work we had to write, i remember how you always had my back, never judged me, how you defended me.  i remember how you groomed me in staying committed to one girl, how i should stop getting negative about everything, how no amount of money can buy happiness. i miss you and i have made a lot of mistakes, where are you to save me?

I miss my best friend, i miss my best friend and this hurts. i know you are watching over me making sure i do the right thing, i remember how you always had a way of solving any difficult situation and now i need you more than ever.

No one should ever go through the pain of losing someone they truly love. i never got the chance to say how much i love you, how much i admire you, how much i respect you, how i would give up any organ if you needed  it and now you are far far away from me. in loving memory, fly with angel's wings boo. i love you always and forever. my best friend, my confidante.

POWER OF AN EX: OVERRATED?

So lately i have been watching a lot of romantic movies and tv shows, trying to reconnect with certain dead emotions in me. One thing is always constant, as long you have someone who you were at one time in love with that is not your current partner, there is a slight chance you might still end up with them giving the right time and opportunity. This had me thinking for days, so all the drama, the process of trying to re invent yourself, complete avoidance of anything remotely associated to love songs, changing your wardrobe, avoiding all the hang out spot you used to love, refusal to wear certain clothes because they brought back some kind heart felt memories, the strip club therapy for guys and the ice cream bowl with alcohol for the girls, only couple of years later you discover or realise you still have feelings for them, even when you are married. Isn't that just a bitch?? All you keep remembering are moments where cheesy promises were made, does this mean we all have just person to always love and be in love with us?? In simple words, we only have one soul mate to truly love us and if we missed them, we would be miserable all the days of our life? So much power been given to the "ex". So back to my tv shows, i have watched "friends season 1-10" strangely for about 30times (which that was a complete useless fact) and i always wanted the love rachel and ross had. In my head, their love was beautiful, he got to be with her at the end of the day regardless of everything that tore them apart, though based on  fictional characters. I did not really fully understand the deep message they tried to pass across to me, at least not until last week (another useless fact). No matter how hard ross tried to get over rachel, dating few beautiful girls, in the time frame of 10 years he still ended up with her. Why??? the writers of the show made us (audience, viewers and fans) believe that she was his soulmate, when he said the wrong name at the altar of his second wedding, had jealousy issues, even had a little fling with rachels sister, in the end he still went back to rachel after they shared a moment. Like i said, a tv show based on fictional characters but i am sure for those of us that have ever being in love, we can almost relate to this. The days where we try so hard not to pick up our phones to call our ex, when we keep talking about our ex to random strangers that didn't ask to be slayed with such pointless long story, when we are on a date with someone else and we cant stop thinking about them, become philosophical and write witty sayings about love and its unfairness. This is what confuses me, so why all the fuss if we know we are still going to end up together? i keep asking myself this question every time i watch the aforementioned tv show.

Love can be tricky at times and like i often say, it is not for the faint hearted. You need to be insane in order to be in love because love has no sense in it. Again, this leaves me confused. So does this explain all the random moments we do dumb things for the sake of love like not talk to an ex for almost 3 years, start dating someone new, propose and then randomly meet the said ex, suddenly realize you are making a big mistake by marrying someone else??? willing to give the good thing up just for an ex??? like how does that work? Again i question this much believed quote "there is one person for each of us, a soul mate".

I strongly believe that with time, anyone can be your soul mate as long as you let them in and give them a chance. Love is not tied to one person alone but do i still want to underestimate the power of an ex???

In an episode of "how i met your mother" Ted Mosby a lovey dovey 30 something years old man is about to get married to a woman who he truly loves and adores, out of his good heart invites his wife to Be's ex to his wedding and his bride runs off with her ex that same day before the ceremony even started citing too much history between them. Fictional storyline again but does this mean having a history together play a major role in moving on from your ex??? considering the amount of years put in and effort also. Would it not be the right thing to do by giving someone else a chance to do better. do we run back to our ex's because we want to feel safe? 

From personal experience, i try not to mingle with an ex, reason being i left you because we were not working out and even though i may love you very much, it may hurt to end this, i can not stay unhappy with you. the next person i date has to be an opposite version of you, where you flawed, the person is best at it. not like a replacement but just someone better. if i do run into you somehow, i am glad i upgraded. forget past history, yeah we had fun so fuck what?? does it mean that i have to mess this good thing up just to have a taste of what i had in the past?? i thought we were meant to be moving forward? there is no love story as great as writing a new one with someone new. give an ex a chance??? NEVER!

Ex's would always have a strong hold on us but we should understand how we let that hold affect us is entirely up to us. So enough of cheesy examples with reference to tv shows, allow me to be real

i got to stage where i understood basic principles, never get drunk with an ex. booze messes up your ability to reason out certain things and then sex complicates it. there no such thing as closure sex, if you must get closure probably in a very public far far away from your house or nearby hotel. it is human nature to always desire what they can not have but how do we deal with a situation where you had it, let it go and now you want because you cannot have it?? but you had it before didn't you??

Never share a forbidden kiss, now this is very tricky because it can come in different forms, from a goodbye kiss to a hello kiss, a little bump into each others lips, don't ask me how that happens, honestly i don't know. basically never share a moment with an ex.

No matter how loving and faithful you may be to your significant other, do not underestimate the power of an ex, even if she/he is ugly and not sexy as your present partner, there is something always fucked up with shared  history and that is the beginning of a trip down memory lane, feelings rush in.

You cannot stay civil with an ex, an ex that you were once in love with, it DOES  NOT WORK! No to staying friends also, they are referred to as an ex, do not attempt to make it more than what it is, contrary to popular believes, feelings never die or fade, they just stay dormant when not acted upon. They can get active in the most unlikely circumstance.

In conclusion, never fuxx with an ex, 10 years ago or 5months ago. if real feelings were involved, you are headed for doomsday. Avoid your ex people... HAHA!